PAPPY.....I got CWABS!!!!!

[oldfart]

Ahhhh yes folks...nothing like a phone call at 8a.m. in the morning from your (5yr. old) grandson with the excited exclaimation of..."PAPPY....I got CWABS!" Mind ye...I work night-shift...it's been a long night..we're short a baker and I'm working every minute I'm able on remodeling the bathroom. I've spent 2 weeks crouching over a bucket in lieu of a toilet...at present have only the kitchen sink functional and (Thank God!) the toilet is now up and running. Young Bryce Logan (5yr. old grandson) has just returned from a visit with his maternal Grandmother and the first words out of his mouth are as such. My first thoughts were to a previous conversation we had concerning his kissing the neighbor girl...she is also about his age..and my admonishions about wimminfolks in general...and right away I ripped into a speech. "Bryce!....I ranted...I warned ye!" Ahh yes...more to come of course. Audie...the Oldfart...

[oldfart]

Well now folks for them that don't have young children about..the "R" sound is a hard sound to make. Think about it and make the "R" sound... slowly. Takes a lot of work to do it now don't it? Pull the tongue back and arch the pallette...."W' is easier. Say wabbit instead of rabbit. O.K. so that explains "cwabs" instead of "crabs". Anyways....Bryce told me he had crabs. Right off the bat I launched into a longwinded tirade about wimminfolks. "See Bryce..that's what I've been trying to tell ya!" "Wimminfolks carry a host of parasites and vermin! Fleas, ticks, chiggers, crabs, cold-sores, babies, (possibly).... rabies, gum disease and gingivitus an God knows what else!" "An that's why ya never git close to them...an most certain never kiss them!"....I wailed! He interruped me at some point and said...."No Pappy...I got fresh steamed hawdshell cwabs..... just for YOU!" Ahhhh..now it all made perfect sense. Well..the bathroom remodel is now on hold! Before me lays a bushel of Blue Crabs steamed to perfection. Time to sit back in the recliner and pick and eat to my hearts delight. (Yup...I'm eatin them in the living room) A cold Yuengling Porter...the Outdoor Channel and a pile of newspapers to sop up the debri. Life is good! Audie..the Oldfart....pickin' an grinnin'!