The power of prayer....:)

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oldfart
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:31 am

Tue Feb 22, 2011 7:25 am

Now now now folks hold on....I ain't gonna git all preachy on ya'll! I just wanted to tell ya'll a story with a moral to it. A few weeks ago here in south-central Pa. we had the coldest weather I've seen since I bought my home. It went down to 3 (three) degrees! Folks...I ain't never been in weather that cold! Now I'm sure them beaver-draggin' canucks will chime in and say..."Heck..that ain't even cool!" Well it is here!! Anyways..I come home at 7a.m. and for the first time ever...the ++++ septic line froze up! Awwwww jeeeze! And so it started. I dipped out the hooter and very carefully filled the tank up with warm water....figgerin' it might thaw the line...an I flushed. Yeah...that worked real well. Then I figgered...hmmm...mebbe some "paper" just froze up an is causing a clog? So I snatched up the heavy duty plunger an went after that toilet like the antidote for stupidty was in there! I stood on the rim an shoved that plunger like there was a prize in there...GRUNT! I poured hot water in there next and really pounded on that plunger...for hours. I lofted it o'er my head and jammed it yonder like a javaline!! I had...uhhhh...water flying off the ceiling!!!! No joy. Then I had a epihany...I need more LEVERAGE!!! In a moment of brilliance...(?) I drilled a hole crosswise thru the handle of the plunger and run a piece of rebar through it...think of a pogo stick...eh! Ahhh yes...part 2 is coming. Audie.....


oldfart
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:31 am

Tue Feb 22, 2011 7:37 am

Part 2. So....under my home is 60ft. of sewer line..with a serious clog...or more like froze. And I've got the biggest plunger sold to mortal man...with a piece of rebar thru the handle so I can step on it an REALLY get me some pressure. See, I figger if I kin just send one little stream of hot water thru that line somewhere it'll thaw. Brains....I has them! So up on the rim I leap an stomp till I'm soaking wet. No joy. At about 2p.m. I figger I'm gammahooched an find a bucket. I figgere it'll thaw about early June and they's no sense fighting it. I jumped in the shower (gray water line all by itself) git cleaned up...mop up the floor and go to bed. I lay there a spell and finally said..."Lord..this ain't funny! I need a warm spell here...if You don't mind." After that I reached o'er and set the alarm and flipped off the light and just as I started to doze off I heard....gurgle....gurrrgggle...WHOOSH! IT'S A BONIFIDE MIRACLE!!! The line thawed as the sun came around the west side of the house and the temp hit 23 degrees. And thats the rest of the story folks. Never underestimate the power of prayer. Audie..the Oldfart...:)

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Yanita
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Posts: 3369
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:16 pm
Location: Eastern N. Carolina

Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:36 am

LOL, Audie you are the best story teller! I always read with a smile on my face and even burst out in laughter as I envision the antics!

You need to write a book of your mobile home adventures.

Yanita
The difference between success and failure is who gives up first!

oldfart
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:31 am

Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:04 am

Well folks a few moments to spare today and since Yanita seems to enjoy seeing me in horrible situations I had to add an update to the story. One week.....one lousy week after the frozen sewage drain incident.....I'm driving home at 6a.m. and watch the temp. thingy on the dash of the Toyota and it's dropping...dropping...down to....3 stinking degrees. Again! Where is this global warming stuff? Twice in the same month? York, Pa. had -2 degrees that day! I pulled into the driveway and remembering the last time I thought.....
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oldfart
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:31 am

Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:18 am

So there I am....second time in a millenium it's gone down to 3 degrees. Knowing what'd happen if I used the toilet....I vowed NOT to use it till it warmed up. Good plan..poor execution. By about 8a.m. I'm startin' to sweat. By 8:15....I'm gettin' some serious cramps. By 8:30..it's obvious this ain't gonna work and I'm "prarie-doggin" up an down the hallway. Awww...jeeze....where'd I put that bucket??? I looked out on the front porch....hey, I was gonna put it out for the garbage man...one of these days....and there it was. Frozen solid to the porch with 4in. of frozen slush/snow/sleet bonding it solidly to the deck. Arrrgghhh! And the lid was froze to the bucket. JEEEZELOIZE! Now I'm really inn'a panic! This is my only bucket! Plastic gets brittle at 3 degrees...kick it an it'll shatter. The snow shovel is useless...froze to the porch too! Finally I manage to break the lid off but this bucket ain't moving! Unfortunatly...other things are. And sweat is running off me now! So I grab my new coat....it's a dandy from L.L. Bean! A long, knee-length wool jobbie..real dressy. Long enough to cover me as I perch on that bucket in 3 deg. weather....50ft. from the Warm Springs Road. A quite heavilly traveled road..at 9a.m. as I perch there and watch the traffic go by. I didn't think things could get much worse. Of course....I've never froze tight to a bucket before! And then....the FedEx truck pulled into the driveway. Ahhh...just another day in paradise. Audie...the Oldfart....


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bilbar25
Posts: 57
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 4:11 pm
Location: Archbold, Ohio

Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:01 pm

LMAO !!!!! :lol:
[color=red]When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so when you die, the world cries and you rejoice![/color]

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flcruising
Posts: 606
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:18 pm
Location: Florida Panhandle

Tue Mar 22, 2011 12:01 pm

Hilarious!

Just to make you feel better, it's been 75-80 degrees here for weeks! You should snowbird it south.
[color=blue]Aaron[/color]

soundproofer
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 2:45 am
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Fri Apr 29, 2011 3:04 am

Hahah, lots of snowbirds up here in the north... Still 40 degrees :(
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WildIrish
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:00 pm

Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:56 pm

Geez, Audie, you get into the darndest situations...or should I say, "sh*tuations"!! I agree with Yanita, you need to write a book!
[img]http://i30.tinypic.com/2v9p75c.gif[/img]

onyx
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 7:20 pm

Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:06 pm

lmao!! :lol:

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