Dating....at 50.....

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sd0321
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:07 am
Location: South Dakota

Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:41 am

Met tonight for the third "not datish" date....for a midnight walk, because he keeps the same crazy hours as me, more or less...and turns out he only lives about four blocks from me...I suggested Melgard Park as the destination....it was humid out, with lightning striking off in the distance, (now a full blown thunderstorm)....

He had told me previously that he only had two topics of conversation, sports and family....but I didn't believe it...I mean, this guy is tall, fairly good looking, great cologne, or deoderant, whatever the great scent is....

And he wasn't kidding.

A block from Melgard Park? I'm done.

I don't want to hear anymore about a softball game he coached several years ago, who got injured, who won or lost, it is the past....and I can't believe I'm walking down the street with a guy who has said he thinks I'm attractive, that "your picture doesn't do you justice...." and all he can do is talk about the past....I mean, I'm living in the now, let's talk about the oil spill, O'bama, inflation, rent, love, life, dreams, pets, jokes, books, ANYTHING but just the past. And so I took him off my facebook, and wrote him an e-mail that I just don't think we are right for each other....anyone out there going through this whole dating thing? Any hope? "Cause this is the first time I've "dated" in two years, and I'm just about ready to quit again! And don't get me wrong...this wasn't the first time, this was the third time of same thing!


oldfart
Posts: 431
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:31 am

Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:49 am

Ahhh yes..there is hope M'am. At 50 my marriage collasped and for some time I wanted nothing to do with another relationship. But time heals these things and I was encouraged to try one more time. Trust me..if you only had 3 "dates" there is still hope! :) On the upside..the man was honest. He told you he only talked about sports&family...and he did. And he seems to be stuck in the past. Perhaps he just hasn't had a chance to make any "future" yet? Do yourself a favor and find a friend first. Friends talk to you, they laugh with you and you're comfortable just being with them. If it goes anywhere..dandy. If it doesn't you still have a friend. Relationships take longer to build at our age. The past can leave us untrusting, and wary. I met Carol as her shooting instructor oddly enough. We became friends and spent hours talking and e-mailing each other. We both had a lot of "baggage" to work thru..and perhaps still do. Heck..I wouldn't even say the "L" word for about a year! We went from student/teacher, to friends, to lovers...and now a couple. Going on 5 years now and I'm still comepletley baffled. She's educated, in college, always dressed perfectly, speaks 3 languages. I'm a hick, toothless, going bald, obese and borderline broke. And a recovering alcoholic. Go figger?? Keep trying. But don't look for a relationship...look for a friend. JMHO of course. Audie..the oldfart..

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sd0321
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:07 am
Location: South Dakota

Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:14 pm

You are probably right about that, finding a friend first.

And to his credit, as you said, he was up front about the "I have two main topics of conversation..." I just thought he was kidding, you know?

I mean, I know one gal like that, (and I've known other women like this too) a co worker, and ALL she talks about is her kids...if you politely try to engage her in conversation about something else? She somehow relates it back to her children, and she is off again, and you are just a sounding board....and trust me on this, she would never meet anyone and say "I have just one main topic of conversation, my kids" because I honestly don't think she realizes that she does that....

I guess I just never met any guys that do that, especially a person that is fully aware that they do that. (And I wouldn't mind if he was spending all of his time talking about his day, or his work, or himself, not a problem, just get out of the past....don't relate every attempt at conversation to your ex wife, kids, (aka family) and (past) sports....that aren't even like football or baseball or basketball, but only sports he was in or coached....

And really, you are "a hick, toothless, going bald, obese and borderline broke....." that's funny, you have Carol 'cause she know's the difference between a van and a corvette... :-) ha ha....

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sd0321
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:07 am
Location: South Dakota

Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:46 pm

Okay. Maybe there is something to just being honest. Because we just spent three hours swimming and talking and he was fine....when we were leaving he said he learned something...that if he shuts up long enough I talk :-) Besides, how many guys of 55 would be okay with meeting a gal at the lake, and being okay with her seeing him in his swimsuit? When you look at it as just getting to know each other as friends? Takes all the pressure off.

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sd0321
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:07 am
Location: South Dakota

Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:38 am

I could seriously like this guy. Just spent four hours in Melgard Park...he had not been on a swing in years, but he did it for me....round swing, if you swing opposite of each other? Yeah, you can touch feet....mosquitoes? (spelled wrong?) he had it covered. After I slapped him, ha ha....beer and salsa and chips... Coors for me, Sharps for him, 'cause he doesn't drink anymore...and his roommate should seriously consider marketing that salsa...it was unbelievable....smooth, but spicey, with a slight taste of chili....sells it for five bucks...but he should really market it and have it in stores, it is that good. And I have never been a salsa fan before....thunderstorms.....well, that's South Dakota......in the summer.....


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Greg
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Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:01 pm

Think of it like surfing, enjoy the wave as long as it lasts, if you fall off, the wave breaks or hits the beach then all that happens is you get wet, not to worry you WILL dry off. Greg
"If I can't fix it, I can screw it up so bad no one else can either."

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