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Well folks..there I was...sittin' on the couch and explainin' to Carol the various options for the new bathroom door and suddenly...a "chunk" went flying past her head! Hmmmm! Well now folks most of ya'll know I'm rehabilitatin' a wurfless feral feline female kitten here at The Homeplace. Mind ye! I don't cotton to cats! Got no room in my heart ner home fer cats that don't do their job a'catchin' mice! I'm hard as flint...heartless as ole Gabe! I only took this wurfless ball'a fur in on account of she had "sick eyes" and as soon as she's better I'll chuck her out into the snow..with no remorse! HARRUMPH! She'll be sittin' out there on the porch wi' the rest of her wurfless gaggle of kinfolks just as soon as she's healthy. Now..that bein' said...Carol and I ayre sittin' there and KERCHUNK!...a "kitty-bisquit" goes flyin' and bounces off the couch. I'm sittin' there non-plussed...(which is a French way of saying..whatinellwasthat??)....and glanced over at Carol. She pretended not to notice....I did the same..and then it happened agin'!! THUNK! "Jaysus...hope she doesn't notice that!".....I pondered. Moments later....amidst much scratching and flinging...a varible hailstorm of litter and...uhhhh...debri came flying! Carol and I both ducked and the next few minutes was simply amazin'!! ++++ was flyin' everywhere! Clouds of dust from cat-litter filled the air! Little Chubba-Dubba was reachin' in wif both paws and heaving and entire weeks wurf of....stuff....airborne! Arrrghhh! Oh yes...more to come of course! Audie..the Oldfart...

Folks, down at Walmart I seen a cat litter-box that empties itself fer $50. I got one that does it fer free! It ain't puddy! Made a heckuva mess that I got to git busy cleanin' up di-rectly! The upside of my system is that Carol turned beet-red and laughed so hard I think she nearly broke something. At the end of the day she said..."Audie..you've got 2 skitzo-paranoid cats...1 completley blind and another nearly so... 1 that hasn't moved in 3 years...1 has an obviuos adddiction to beer...the rest of them are..uhhh...not so talanted....and now you've got Chub!" Well, I rekkin' that tells it all folks! Audie..the Oldfart....with a shovel...

Audie,

They sell something real cheap that does the job of cleaning out the litter box, (which...I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm going to say most cat owners clean the litterbox about every other day at least....) anyway, it's about a dollar and it's called a scooper, or something like that....and it's a heck of a lot less messy than having a cat clean it up themselves like that.... And I bet if you have a real litter box with real litter, you probably have one of these already.....

And I hope that kittens eyes will get better. I'm thinking you are not the kind that believes in buying any medicine for feral cats that have adopted your place as home. (And you are not alone, plenty of people have lots of "farm cats" around this part of the country that will never see a vet....I don't like that, but too bad for me...)

But a healthy cat will be a better hunter. Because I believe they are like some men.... (no offense)....they don't hunt out of necessity, they do it for sport. I've had some well fed fat cats that to my dismay (one on a leash with no front claws caught, killed, and ate a rabbit) have caught and killed pheasants, birds, mice, and gophers....not always to eat, often just for the heck of it. Just my two cents worth about cats..... Sherry

Hi Audie,

As for that 50.00 cat box...I wouldn't waste my hard earned dollars. I know a few folks, LOL, myself included that have bought these because of multiple cat households. They are junk! And you still have to buy bags or something for the waste to be cleaned into.

The plus is ,is that Chub is using the box, it is generally tough to train a feral cat. As you know by now there are a multitude of different cat litters.

If you are tired of tootsie digging daily or even twice daily here is another option, buy the non scoopable litter, much cheaper and then there are liners that fit in the bottom of the littler box. When the box needs changing simply pull up the four corners of the liner, tie them together and toss away. Chub will make less of a mess if you have a tall sided litter box.

Now, I personally think you have a soft spot for these feral cats. I believe that you do get meds or at least do everything you can for them.... If not why is chub in the homestead?

Hey Sherry,

Your right, cats hunt out of instinct, not just because they are hungry. I currently have 3 indoor cats. They are very well fed. Every now and again we will get a mouse under the kitchen sink and then it is on...they play with it till it dies, but has nothing to do with eating it!

Have a good day folks

Yanita

Well now ladies..fret not. I did buy a real litter-box down at Walmart..with very high sides and I will attempt to clean out the chunks every day. Not the self-cleaning type..way to frugal for that!! And I found out my french-fry-scooper fer the deep-fryer works just dandy to lift out the "logs"!! (Please don't tell Carol!!) Saved me spending $2 for a cheap plastic one!! Good idea..eh! I tried using my (expensive!) stainless steel tongs from Johnnies Rest. Supply but that "stuff" sticks to them so bad ya got to walk out on the porch and fling it real hard to git it off! I don't have time to twaddle around with all that nonsense! Lost a $10 pair of tongs in the snow doin' that last week..found them just today! And if ye use them tongs to pick up a "dry one" it's hard to git a grip on it. Remember that scene from Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts tries to pick up a snail (escargoooo) and it went flying across the room?? Same problem with dry kitty doo! Went to snatch one up and it pinched off and hit me right in the eyeball! Hurt like bejabbers!! Now I just reach down and find out if they's soft 'er hard and grab the proper tool for the job. And...I've stopped biting my fingernails in the process! And no Yanita...I have no soft spots. I'm hard as steel and vile tempered...and...and....lost my train of thought. Audie...the Oldfart...

You really should write a book titled 'the tales of an old fart'. You would have people laughing so hard they would be crying through the whole book. Excellent writer and story teller. I love reading your posts. I actually started laughing so hard during the kitty poo post that I could barely breathe.

Hey Audie,

LMBO!!! Sad thing is I can relate!

Ummm, that soft spot, you tell it any way you got to, BUT, Chub is still in the homestead, on the back of the couch, full tummy and a clean box!

You have a great day Audie, look forward to your next adventure.

Ohhh, and please do not tell Carol I suggested the swing arm rods, or if you do at least tell her I said hello!

Yanita

Teresa73 wrote:You really should write a book titled 'the tales of an old fart'. You would have people laughing so hard they would be crying through the whole book. Excellent writer and story teller. I love reading your posts. I actually started laughing so hard during the kitty poo post that I could barely breathe.

Did you see the one from a while back, where he talked about STEPPING in said kitty poo? ROTFL!

But yeah, we need to put all of Audie's posts into a book. Advertise it on RFD-TV...by the time he got the royalities, he'd be living in a spankin' new double-wide!