Kitchen-Aid Mixers...an epihany!!

oldfart · Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:05 pm

Well now folks I know I ain't posted much lately but I have an excellent excuse...it's hunting season!! Now..right onto the topic of todays epihany...how many folks has a Kitchen-Aid Mixer?? Hmmmm?? Raise yer hands..don't be bashful! Okey-dokey..got a few hands raisin' up. Now..how many of ye have takin' advantage of all them little attachments they have to offer?? Hmmm...?? Why not?? Okey-dokey..sit back and lemme tell ye a story. Now...I'm a most frugal man...I've said that before a few times..eh? Anyways...Carol an I went down yonder to the Prime Outlets Store in Hagerstown, Md. last weekend and I finally broke down and bought me one of them Grinder/Sausage Stuffer Attachments for my Kitchen-Aid Mixer. I've been lookin' at them attachments for the past 10yrs. and jest couldn't justify the $60 cost....bein' the frugal man I am. However...I am now a believer! First off I was concerned about gammahoochin' up the mixer by tryin' to grind meat with the attachments. (Duhhhh..they make the mixer..they make the attachments...!) Folks....I bought the grinder from Bass-Pro..and the one from Cabelas..and Gander Mountain. The $200 ones. Junk. It'd take 2 lifetimes to grind up 10lbs. of meat from any of these junk grinders! Bought the #32 hand-grinder from various sources. Added in a 3/4h.p. elec. motor and the 10in. pulley...and the belt and the switch. Just a more expensive way to grind up money. Trust me..this bad boy works! Ahh yes..more to come! Audie..the longwinded one!!

oldfart · Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:25 pm

Well now folks some of ye might be asking..."How does this help me...I don't hunt and have no intention of grindin' up road-kill for hamburger!" Folks right now hamburger (20% fat) is $2.79lb. and lean chuck-roasts is $2.39lb.! Whole bottom rounds ayre running about $1.79lb. and theres virtually no waste. The cost of the grinding attachment would pay for itself in short order. Now here's the kicker...Kitchen-Aid has a coupon that gives ye a 25% rebate on all your purchases of attachments up till the end of the year. So the cost of my grinder&sausage stuffer ($60) gives me a rebate of $15!! Total cost...$45. I'll save that much in the next month of grinding fees and buying lean cuts of beef for hamburger. I can buy pork shoulders for .99 cents a pound..add in brown sugar and black pepper and have lean sausage for less than $1.20lb.!! YEEHAAAW! Now there is a downside! Read the instruction manual! Audie..the Oldfart...

oldfart · Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:41 pm

Ahhh yes..the downside. Folks be aware of this little fact. When ya mount the grinder attachment to the Kitchen-Aid mixer and begin grindin' out yer home made burger/noodles/pasta/sausage/slice&dice stuff.....the mixer still operates. Yes..the part of the mixer whar ye normally attach the beaters/whips/hooks/ etc. continues to rotate. In 4th. gear!! It would behoove one to take notice to that fact and NOT lay a plastic bag full'a cut up meat within' reach of the rotating mixer attachment point!!!!!!!!! If one is not paying attention... the mixer may snatch up said bag and sling it the entire length of a 12x60ft. trailer whilst beating the un-attending head of the said operator sensceless. (a possible spelling error...) And hoist a brew of meat and gore literally everywhere. Go ahead..ask me how I know that little fact!! Audie..the Oldfart....

Greg · Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:24 pm

...There are some questions better left unanswered!!! Greg

Yanita · Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:53 pm

Ummm, could it be that your beloved Carol was not paying attention...ROFLMAO

Merry Christmas Audie,

Yanita

Susan · Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:36 pm

Ok Old Fart, I'll bite - how do you know the mixer will grab the bag and sling it?

I love your stories and wouldn't pass up this opportunity for another one!

oldfart · Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:28 pm

Well now Ms. Susan..glad you had the cohones to ask. HARRUMPH! As it was...I had all the meat cut up and in 10lb. plastic bags sittin' on the left side of the mixer/grinder. This makes it convienent... as thatt'a way can keep my beer and cigeretts on the right-side and hopefully out of the mixer/grinder. Anyways...long story short..that ++++ mixer snatched up one of the 10lb. bags of meat and commenced to swing it around at "just-about-head-level" at approx. 400 revalootions a minute. Now my cat-like reflexes work at.....a tad less than 400 revalootions per minute....on a good day. Given the fact I'd worked night-shift 10hrs....and haven't had much sleep due to Hunting Season...and yes..I had a beer...mebbe 2....my reflexes was a bit slow. Let's just say...about 4 revalootions per minute. Give 'er take a few hits. Anyways....I took a poundin' such as no mere mortal man has taken' in recent times. I'd duck..for a spell..then git whacked as soon as I thought the coast was clear. M'am..a 10lb. bag of meat can inflict a lot of injuries in short time! Trust me! And whatt'a mess! Yup..reaching for the OFF switch was an option...so was pulling the plug. Simply walking back a few steps was also an option. However..one does not think about such things in a moment of crisis. One simply stands erect..bug-eyed and says..."HOLY ++++!!!" as meat flys in every direction and takes another pounding! And here's another epihany..wear short-sleeved shirts when grinding meat!! Ohhh yes..more to come....! Audie..the Oldfart...

oldfart · Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:45 pm

Well now Ms. Susan and all concerned there is an excellent reason for NOT wearing loose clothing around rotating/possibly hazardous machinery. Drills, saws, motors and engines...lawn-mowers, weed-whackers..and YES....Kitchen-Aid Mixers with grinding attachments. If..per chance..one should be so foolish as to reach into the rotating parts of said mechanical devices.....even to stop an obvious disaster...one should be aware of the warnings and possible outcomes of such an adventure. If anyone knows of an amputee missing a left arm I have an excellent Browning denim shirt that I will send them. It's a fine snap-front shirt..size 18. The right sleeve is a 35in. with 4 snaps and will accept cuff-links. The left sleeve/arm is missing... right up to the arm-pit. Otherwise it is in excellent condition! Audie..the Oldfart.............

Susan · Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:32 pm

Oh my Audie, I am so sorry that this happened to you, but I must say that I truly enjoyed the fit of laughter I had reading about it. You can tell an amazing story, with so much humor that I find myself waiting for you to have "mishaps".

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Have a wonderful holiday and a successful hunting season.

shadow745 · Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:43 pm

Yeah KitchenAid products are rather costly, but well worth it IMO. I have their Pro Line espresso machine and matching grinder. Outstanding quality and function for the $$$ and makes waking up each morning worthwhile.

I have seen a KA Copper mixer that was really eye catching, but at $400 it'll have to wait. Later!