I asked her..."What would you like for Valentines Day?&

[oldfart]

Well folks..time for a peek into my most intimate life. (giggle!) Intimate is a vague subject at my age so bear with me! Anyways...I asked my dear friend Carol what she would like for Valentines Day. She ponder this a long time and I pondered it as well. "Perhaps a trip to the local spa...hours spent dunking her in various treatments and massage..cucumbers on her eyeballs and hot mud spread hither an yon."..I thought. "Mebbe a trip to the hair-salon..a facial and a manicure & pedicure!"..I surmised. I considered a fine meal prepared at the local Chinese Buffet..or Ponderosa..as they have a great shrimp-special going on right now!! I fretted perhaps she would want me to go shopping with her..and immediatly my legs, feet, back and sundry other parts began to ache. The first item on my program (of course) was a meal prepared by my own hands for her enjoyment. Last week it was Shrimp Veracruze with couscouze, a fine Ceasar salad with feta-cheese...and tropical fruit... freshly prepared. A side-dish of beef-barley soup was made from scratch..and cole-slaw. New cabbage and my own dressing..not that I need mention it. Candles on the table...a foot-massage upon her arrival..and fresh flowers in a vase. And then she told me her request. Not roughly or with any distain..."It'd be nice to have a door on the bathroom." ARRRGHH! Wimminfolks..go figger? Ahh yes..more to come! Audie..the Oldfart...

[oldfart]

Well now folks..as a hermit I must admit I have not had a door on my bathroom for...ohhhh...about 2 years. Mebbe more. Never bothered me much....menfolks look at this subject differently than wimminfolks I figger. For menfolks..living the hermit life..a bathroom door is an inconvienence. I reside there alone and without concern...a magazine rack well stocked with hunting magazines..a cold beer within' reach and an ashtray. I have placed a phone-jack in here as well..saves me time and some inconvenience. Jogging up and down the hall-way with my knickers down to my ankles to answer the telephone is a p.i.t.a.!! For menfolks..this is nirvana. I'm working on running the cable in here to allow me to watch The Outdoor Channel on a big-screen plasma T.V. to replace that stupid mirrow above the sink. I know what I look like..what is the point of a mirrow? By next year I hope to have a wire-less laptop ...at which point I will actually be in heaven! But..she asks for so little and so I began todays work. Installed the new bathroom door today. The down-side? My eyes are watering from the fumes. There is no exhaust fan in this bathroom and no way to install one short of ripping out the entire ceiling! My legs are going numb! I fear that if I attempt to light just 1 more ciggerette... this room will most likely detonate! I need a tiny refridgerator..and possibly a small micro-wave oven in here. Popcorn or a pizza "poste-haste" would be nice. Gotter done Carol...(gasp!) losing consience now....Happy Valentines Day!...THUMP! O.F....gone but not forgotten...

[Barb P]

Ohhhh, my face aches. Thank you for the day's humor, Audie.
Having said that, I think you're a real sweetie, to do that for your lady.

[lrjester]

Oh, that was pricelss!!! We all needed a good laugh for Valentines I think.......hehehehe

[Serena]

Thanks for the smiles. I'm with Carol, a bathroom door is the nicest thing.

[Yanita]

Ole Fart,

Once again you made me laugh!

See some of us women are really not high maintenance, wanting the spa, massages etc...LOL, as we women age we want a little more privacy than say we did when we were younger.

Your lucky you only had to hang an interior door. LOL, I Hubby outside doing all kinds of little projects for me, LOL, one was installing a set of french doors in the girls (granddaughters) play area.

Thanks for the humor, your stories brings laughter and enjoyment to the site!

Yanita